Who Ate All The Pies

Disgrace

Gut bucket front man Benni McCarthy has been fined £200,000 by West Ham for failing to meet his fitness targets. The striker managed to shed some of the weight thanks to a custom fitness regime and now weighs 13st 5lbs having once balooned to over 15st.

The exercise regime set up to help him lose the lard has now had a detremental affect on the South Africans pace. Hammers manager Avram Grant said "He reached the targets but I think that affected his movement.

He's a very good player and one of the best finishers in training that I have ever seen, and I have had some good players. But now we need players with movement and the advantage of being quick, and we have others."

The overweight lump who is yet to find the net for his club in 14 apperances has cost them in the region of £4.3m in wages in addition to his £2.5m transfer fee. And to think Fergie says there's no value in the market...